From Backpacks to Boardrooms
It’s the week after Labor Day, which means that the past few days in our house have been a whirlwind of new shoes, sharpening pencils and labeling backpacks. I like September’s back-to-school energy when we shake off summer’s sleepy torpor and step into structure with renewed focus. For my two boys, now old enough to shoulder more of the load, I want them to learn that responsibility is not just about getting out of bed on time – it’s about owning the rest of their day too. For them, this means paying closer attention to the clock, checking their lunchboxes are ready, gym clothes, etc. Sure, you can choose to keep playing that Roblox, but guess what? Now you’re late for the bus.Responsibility is not glamorous, but it is the foundation of all freedom. When my kids learn to pack their own bags, they gain autonomy. When they face the natural consequences of being late, they begin to understand that punctuality is their choice, not mine. The same principle applies to us in adulthood. In business and especially in our relationships, the degree to which we can own our choices – without excuses, without deflection – is also the degree to which we can be successful in those areas.
Extreme Ownership
In their best-selling book Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win, former SEAL commanders Jocko Willink and Leif Babin draw from their combat experience lessons in leadership with striking relevance far beyond the battlefield. The crux of their message is simple: Effective leaders must own everything in their world. That means when a person assumes responsibility for a particular outcome, they own it completely. No excuses, no blaming circumstances. When a mission falters, or when a project goes sideways, the true leader asks a single question: What could I have done differently to set my team up for success?It’s well known that Harry Truman kept a small sign on his desk in the Oval Office that read, “The buck stops here.” It was a daily reminder to himself and others in his orbit that real leadership means accepting full responsibility for all outcomes, both the good and bad. Teams will forgive mistakes; they will not forgive abdication. When you lead from responsibility, you create trust. When you shirk it, you breed dysfunction.What are some of the ways we can take on more ownership?
Tune Out the Noise
We live in an age of distraction, one where the greatest daily battle is for our attention. When we lose sight of what our true priorities are, we also lose the ability to act with intention. Taking full responsibility means focusing on what really matters to us—what we can influence, not what we can’t. It’s the discipline of choosing “signal over static.” One of the Navy SEAL principles is to simplify plans and then prioritize ruthlessly. As they put it: “Prioritize and execute.” Under extreme pressure, human cognitive bandwidth shrinks, so we need to be very clear about where our real intentions lie. Ask yourself: What is the one priority I should focus on right now? What can wait? How can I communicate this clearly and simply to others? Responsibility requires this kind of clarity. By tuning out the noise, we protect our time and energy, ensuring our actions align with our values and goals.
Watch the Internal Narrative
We all face obstacles and real limitations. Almost as important as the obstacles we face are the stories we tell ourselves about them. Do we see obstacles as immovable, or as challenges we can work to overcome? Responsibility requires constant vigilance about these internal narratives that we all have running in the background—catching ourselves whenever we drift towards resignation, and instead rewriting the story to highlight where we can contribute or make a shift. A passive narrative framed in absolutes (“You never…if only…”) can leave us feeling trapped. But choosing an active story it casts us as the authors of our own destiny, which is open and malleable. By emphasizing the story where we do have agency, we can reclaim the power to contribute.
Remove the Crutches
Excuses, justifications, and familiar storylines may feel safe, but they limit our growth and potential. Responsibility asks us to strip away these props, face our limitations honestly, and stand on the strength of our own decisions. My children are learning that if you forget your gym shoes, you run in your socks. As adults, if we shirk responsibility, we repeat the same lessons, but in bigger, costlier ways. When we remove the crutches, we stand taller, more proud of ourselves, more connected to the people around us. And that responsibility is contagious. A leader who says, “the buck stops here” invites others to do the same. In this way, trust becomes the currency of the culture.Responsibility does not weigh us down; rather it lifts us up. It is not a burden but a form of liberation. Freedom is not the absence of responsibility—it is its reward.