As the sole provider for our family of 5, I know my father worried a lot about money. Where he found comfort in the face of his fears was often in church. Every day he kept a ritual of attending early morning mass before work, which helped to relax him and set the tone for the rest of his day.

But it doesn’t have to be religious practice. Anything we do on a regular basis has the power to enrich and transform our lives. A positive ritual is a behavior that becomes automatic over time—fueled by some deeply held value. In contrast to willpower and discipline, which require pushing yourself to a particular behavior, a ritual pulls at you.

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My high school solicited photos and stories from alumnae this week for an anniversary brochure it is composing in honor of its 150th anniversary. Upon reflection, I realized that as a student at Saint Elizabeth’s Academy, I took very seriously the annual “talent show.” The year I dressed up as a purple raisin and sang “I heard it through the grapevine” may not go down in musical history as the greatest ever performance of a Marvin Gaye song, but it’s one that I will remember for the rest of my life.  

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I never saw my father cry. Not at my brother’s wedding, our cousin’s funeral or my college graduation. It may have been his buttoned up Teutonic heritage, or former training in the army, but one thing is certain, Dad wasn’t very open with his emotions. Whenever I’d ask him about his feelings, his facial muscles would twitch and he’d fob me off with a “better go ask your mother.”

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Somewhere over North Dakota, on a flight bound for Seattle, I finally mustered up the courage to ask my seat companion where he was headed. “Nick” told me that he was a pilot from Seattle, working out of New York. As we swapped stories, it turned out that Nick lived in an apartment just one block away from me on the Upper East Side.

As these things often go, we both bike the same loop in Central Park on a regular basis. We also see the same people: the gal with the red bandanna, the t.v. celebrity, the music man who carries his radio on his handlebars, the ex-marine who pedals in his military gear…the list was long and colorful.

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Location: In Good Company Workplaces : 16 West 23rd St., 4th fl. NYC 
Time: 10:00-4pm Cost: $199. Breakfast & Lunch will be served.

*Jerry Colonna is a life coach who uses the skills he learned as a venture capitalist to help businesspeople. Previously, he was a partner with (JPMP), the private-equity arm of JPMorgan Chase. He joined JPMP from Flatiron Partners, which he launched in 1996 with partner, Fred Wilson. 

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