Last week, my siblings and I came together to clear out the home that we all grew up in, preparing to put it on the market. As children of the Great Depression, my parents threw nothing out. Every piece of rope, wire, nail or scrap metal had potential value in it. It took two dumpsters and seven of us an entire day to clear out the mountains of items that had accumulated in the attic and garage since my parents bought the house in 1970. Had my father not died of a heart attack, this surely would have killed him.

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I recently had the privilege of hearing Dr. Ned Hallowell speak. He is a child and adult psychiatrist and the founder of The Hallowell Center for Cognitive and Emotional Health in Sudbury, MA.

Dr. Hallowell is considered one of the foremost experts on the topic of ADD and ADHD. He is the co-author, with Dr. John Ratey, of Driven to Distraction, and Answers to Distraction, which have sold more than a million copies.

Chronic worry is a common aspect of ADD. The symptoms of excessive distractibility, impulsivity, and restlessness can lead both children and adults to underachieve at school, at work, in relationships and marriage. But you don’t have to suffer from ADD to understand what worry is all about. Worry is the most common reason people see their doctor. The message of Dr. Hallowell is this: “Now, more than ever, we need to connect.” Social isolation, he says, is even more dangerous than cigarette smoking.

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We make dozens of choices every day of our lives, but a large percentage of those choices are invisible to us. We often think that we have no choices, that we are victims of circumstance. This is the single biggest impediment to personal growth, and I don’t give my clients the luxury of using it.

Helping my clients see the difference between “I choose to” and “I have to” allows them to see that they have far more power to shape their lives than they may have thought.

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