In his wonderful book The Element, Sir Ken Robinson tells a story that I’m sure many people can relate to. In it, a young girl named Gillian is having trouble concentrating at school. The school – suspecting a learning disability – asks her mother to take 8-year-old Gillian to see a psychiatrist for evaluation. After hearing from the girl’s mother how the girl is always disturbing her classmates, her homework is sloppy and always late – the doctor asks to speak with Gillian alone. Before escorting the mother outside for a private conference, the doctor turns on the radio in the room to occupy Gillian.

As soon as the music began to play, the girl was on her feet. From outside the room, Gillian’s mother and the doctor observed for a few minutes as she moved beautifully to the music, dancing around the room, lost in a childlike trance. Then, with a sudden burst of insight, the doctor turned to the girl’s mother and said: “Mrs. Lynne, Gillian isn’t sick; she is a dancer. She likes to move. My advice? Take her to a dance school.”

Happily for Gillian, that is exactly what happened.

She eventually auditioned for the Royal Ballet School in London where she was surrounded by other people who also “liked to move”. She graduated, founded her own Dance Company – the Gillian Lynne Dance Company – and soon thereafter met Andrew Lloyd Weber. The rest is history.  As a dancer and choreographer, Gillian has been responsible for some of the most successful musical theater productions in history (Cats, Phantom of the Opera, anyone?). She’s given pleasure to millions of people and become a multimillionaire in the process. Isn’t it fascinating – and terrifying– to think that somebody else might have put her on medication and told her to calm down?

How many of us know people like Gillian? People who are full of energy and wit and drive. People who fidget and can’t sit still. People for whom the world is an ill-fitting jacket. As a career coach, I meet these people all the time, though sometimes a lot further downstream than in the above story. Maybe they’re out of college a few years and searching for that next big thing. Some of them have been in industry for 20-30 years, doing work for which they seem to have little interest or aptitude. While the verses of individual circumstances are always different, the refrain is all too common.

Read more...

In the hit 2009 movie “Up in the Air”, George Clooney stars as a corporate hatchet man, hired by companies to do the dirty work of laying off dozens of their employees. He refers to himself euphemistically as a “career transition counselor.” To each person laid off, he offers a generic pep talk that is surprisingly effective. “Anyone who ever built an empire, or changed the world,” he intones like a sympathetic parish priest, “has sat where you are now. And it’s because they sat there that they were able to do it.”

A tad trite, perhaps? Certainly. But is he right? Absolutely. And the evidence of this can be seen in a terrific new documentary entitled “Lemonade.” You could almost consider this a companion piece to “Up in the Air” as it tracks the lives of 16 advertising professionals all recently laid-off, downsized or otherwise let go by the firms they previously worked for. For anyone who has been recently discharged or is trying to figure out “what’s next”, this film is a revelation. And a celebration.

Read more...

As this year’s Feb. 14th holiday approaches, I think about my loved ones, family and close friends. I’d like to say that I shared my first Valentine with the most popular boy in the class but I am pretty sure it wasn’t the case. Most likely my first, “Will You Be Mine” note went to my 1st grade BFF, Terri Trespicio. Terri and I were inseparable growing up. We shared our dreams, our lunch, our notes and all of our secrets. I recently came upon this photo of Terri and me from 3rd grade and was reminded of how fortunate I am to still have her near. After forwarding this picture to her, she agreed to compose a “This I Believe” type essay in honor of us:

Read more...

I traveled to Miami last weekend to run the ING Half Marathon. The race starts at 6:15am and although I was battling a cold and my body wasn’t acclimated to the humid temps, I managed to mentally push through and complete the event before the 2 hour mark. When I crossed the finish line I gave myself a good pat on the back. I do this quite often. If I surmount a challenge or stare down a fear, I pay attention to what I’ve done well and acknowledge myself for it. Sometimes, I hear myself say, “’atta girl” when I have pushed through an obstacle that might otherwise have stopped me.  

I didn’t win the race, or even come close to placing in my age category. But I lined up and I finished. And that to me is worth celebrating. When you think about it, we receive thousands of hours of criticism each year from our friends, our bosses, sometimes even our families. For most adults, negative feedback far outweighs the positive. But it is crucial if we are going to reach peak performance in anything – or simply just live a happy life – that we give ourselves credit, where credit is due.

Read more...