As a career and life and career coach, people will come to see me for all kinds of reasons.  It is a privileged position to be in. They share their personal hopes and dreams, their business goals and aspirations.  Sometimes people just need an ear to listen, or to feel they are not alone in what they are going through. One of the reasons I enjoy this work is that the stories are as diverse as the people themselves.

But if there was one common theme that I see in a lot of these stories – it is the struggle that many of us have for self- acceptance. Self esteem. Why do so many of us think a lot less of ourselves than others do?
As I pondered this question, I reflected back on some answers that my former local parish priest, Fr. Frank McNulty, once gave in a homily. He message bears repeating:

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Last month I delivered a presentation at Morgan Stanley on the subject of “recharging your batteries.” In preparation for the topic, I reviewed The Power Of Full Engagement by Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr. This book speaks to the idea of properly managing your energy – not your time – as the key to personal renewal and great performance.

“Full engagement,” as defined by Schwartz, is to be physically energized, emotionally connected, mentally focused and spiritually aligned with a purpose beyond our immediate self-interest. But according to a 2001 Gallup study, less than 30% of Americans feel they are fully engaged at work. Some 55% are “not engaged” at all. Another 19% are “actively disengaged,” meaning that they regularly share those negative feelings with colleagues. Worse yet, the longer employees stay with organizations, the less engaged they become.

The costs of a disengaged workforce run into the trillions of dollars, not to mention the personal cost in terms of loss of energy and lack of joy. Think about your own life for a minute. Have you ever been involved with a project (personal or professional) in which you were fully engaged? How did you feel? You probably had boundless energy, right? That’s the power of full engagement, and that’s the sweet spot that you want to hit more often in your work, your life, your relationships. To learn more, I recently connected with Tony Schwartz (TS) on this topic. Tony is the founder and CEO of the The Energy Project.

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Weather on the Ones, 24-hour cable news, talk radio, youtube, cell phones, the robotic thumbing of Blackberries – all around us is the relentless babble of words. While all this connectivity has certainly increased our output, it has also numbed our senses and shrunken our attention spans. In the process, it has robbed us of something vital. Sure, we may be communicating more than ever before – but is anybody really listening?

My experience as an executive recruiter tells me that one of the most basic skills essential for success in the workplace is effective listening. Sadly, it’s also one of the least practiced. Nothing hurts more than the feeling of “not being heard.” This is why sustained, sympathetic and fully-engaged listening can be such a powerful transformational tool in business – and why the lack of it hurts us immeasurably.

Ideally, communication with our clients should be a two-way street. Jumping in before we’ve even had a chance to hear what the other has said is like hanging up the phone before speaking. It’s a one-way conversation. In order to be a good listener, we must first obviate the more pressing need to always speak. In this way, we can often stimulate a more meaningful dialogue and generate better ideas. With a little practice, awareness, and some applied listening, we can all learn to communicate more effectively. But the ways in which we don’t listen are as many as the distractions that surround us. Here’s a look at some of the more common offenders.

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Nearly every week, some updated food alert is issued by the news media. Never before have we been bombarded with so much information about what is bad/good for us. And yet, just as individuals vary tremendously, so do our nutritional needs – depending on your age, emotional state, the season and your physical environment. Linda Prout is the author of Live in the Balance, the Ground-Breaking East-West Nutrition Program. Unlike many other health counselors, Linda does not believe in a quick fix or a single regimen for all people. Rather, she guides people to the best nutritional choices for who and where they are- right now. I asked Linda (LP) to share some tips in terms of how she personally lives in the balance and tunes out the noise…

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Through the lens of working with corporate executives within finance, I’ve had a chance to observe senior level professionals up close. When I’ve had an opportunity to ask them what they want more of, “satisfaction” (or some variation thereof) seems inevitably to be the answer. This seems odd to me, given the material riches that many of these individuals have managed to amass.

But it’s not just corporate executives. Happiness or contentment seems altogether elusive for many of us – the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow that evaporates as soon we get there. Rather than focus on “product” – I often encourage my clients to focus on “process” as the key to finding the more real and lasting joy they are seeking. This usually means work, of course – and a very thorough and honest appraisal of what we really want out of life.  

Dan Baker, founder of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch, is a medical psychologist who believes that often, what we truly desire is to be free from the two basic, survivalist fears that have haunted us since the Stone Age: the fears of not having enough and of not being enough. He has devoted his working life to teaching people how to be happy, and how to avoid many of the happiness traps we set for ourselves. I recently caught up with Dan (DB) to ask him about some of his work habits, and about how he personally is able to “tune out the noise”…

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