In his wonderful book The Element, Sir Ken Robinson tells a story that I’m sure many people can relate to. In it, a young girl named Gillian is having trouble concentrating at school. The school – suspecting a learning disability – asks her mother to take 8-year-old Gillian to see a psychiatrist for evaluation. After hearing from the girl’s mother how the girl is always disturbing her classmates, her homework is sloppy and always late – the doctor asks to speak with Gillian alone. Before escorting the mother outside for a private conference, the doctor turns on the radio in the room to occupy Gillian.

As soon as the music began to play, the girl was on her feet. From outside the room, Gillian’s mother and the doctor observed for a few minutes as she moved beautifully to the music, dancing around the room, lost in a childlike trance. Then, with a sudden burst of insight, the doctor turned to the girl’s mother and said: “Mrs. Lynne, Gillian isn’t sick; she is a dancer. She likes to move. My advice? Take her to a dance school.”

Happily for Gillian, that is exactly what happened.

She eventually auditioned for the Royal Ballet School in London where she was surrounded by other people who also “liked to move”. She graduated, founded her own Dance Company – the Gillian Lynne Dance Company – and soon thereafter met Andrew Lloyd Weber. The rest is history.  As a dancer and choreographer, Gillian has been responsible for some of the most successful musical theater productions in history (Cats, Phantom of the Opera, anyone?). She’s given pleasure to millions of people and become a multimillionaire in the process. Isn’t it fascinating – and terrifying– to think that somebody else might have put her on medication and told her to calm down?

How many of us know people like Gillian? People who are full of energy and wit and drive. People who fidget and can’t sit still. People for whom the world is an ill-fitting jacket. As a career coach, I meet these people all the time, though sometimes a lot further downstream than in the above story. Maybe they’re out of college a few years and searching for that next big thing. Some of them have been in industry for 20-30 years, doing work for which they seem to have little interest or aptitude. While the verses of individual circumstances are always different, the refrain is all too common.

Read more...

The more you want to accomplish, the more help you’ll need. Successful people don’t get there all by themselves. If you are doing something big, it requires loads of support, advice and encouragement. More and more, young innovative businesses get this. They are moving away from a personal accomplishments mentality to a new collaborative paradigm.

Donna Fenn highlights this trend of buddying up in her latest book, Upstarts, How GenY Entrepreneurs are Rocking the World of Business. Within the first chapter, Donna writes “today, an increasingly complex, competitive, and global business environment makes it virtually impossible, not to mention foolish, for any entrepreneur to cultivate a lone-wolf mentality.”

Through case studies, Upstarts reveals that working in teams is second nature to members of GenY as they change and re-define the very definition of teamwork. I recently asked Donna (DF) about this new idea of community and how the buddy system helps her in her work:

Read more...

“Make new friends, but keep the old…one is silver, the other gold.” If you've ever pledged Scouts, you will recognize this little ditty.  I have certainly committed it to memory. It came up for me recently when I reminded a client about the importance of maintaining positive references. As a former executive search agent, I sometimes marvel at how often this basic principal gets overlooked. Before forging ahead, it is absolutely vital for candidates to secure good references from their old employers. It is an integral part of the hiring process and doing so will only make the candidate look more professional.

Consider the following scenario:  You are a clean-cut, well-dressed, mature, driven and intelligent individual. You have followed all the rules in climbing the corporate ladder. Chances are, you graduated with a finance degree from an Ivy League School in less than four years and thereafter with an MBA from one of the finest institutions on the East Coast. Indeed, your resume shines with perfection. You interview for a position that fits you like a glove.  During the final round of interviews, you are asked for a list of your job references and you are told that the firm “will be back in touch shortly.”  Days and weeks go by without any news.  Although you trust there is a logical reason for the radio silence, there’s a very good chance that a reference came back with negative feedback. In most instances, even the smallest hint of a “red flag” for the company profiling you, is alarming enough to prevent an offer being made. What to do?

Read more...

Sometimes you stumble upon an offering that truly makes your life easier. Recently, my sister located a resource that provided us with a means for locating assistance for my mom, who suffers from dementia: http://www.itsallaboutaging.com/blog/?p=230

In an effort to keep my mom’s mind stimulated and her body active, I had been researching services online which provide options for caregiving on a basic level to seniors. My interest was to find a local woman who would understand my mom’s situation and act as a companion to her in my absence. The site through which we found assistance was http://www.Care.com.

The company was started by Sheila Lirio Marcelo, a seasoned entrepreneur whose passion for business and family led to the founding of Care.com in 2006. After enduring frequent struggles to find quality caregivers for her two boys, Sheila recognized a lack in resources available to help families address their care needs. Care.com was created to fill that void. After we were paired with a successful match for my mom, I asked Sheila (SLM) for her perspective on the importance of developing a healthy network of friends and partners…

Read more...

Life rarely works out exactly as we plan. The death of a loved one, rejection by a cherished friend, the onset of an unexpected illness, unemployment status after a successful career, struggle with body image and self-perception - these experiences challenge us.  During times of struggle, I have found comfort in the wisdom, insight, and empathy I gain when I reach out to others for help. I’ve relied on a healthy network of friends to support me in my endeavors especially when the going gets tough. As John Donne once noted, “No man is an island.”

Melody Beattie, the best-selling author of numerous books including Codependent No More and The Grief Club believes that “There’s a secret to get through loss, pain and grief. If we’re alone we can’t see who we are. When we join the club, other people become the mirror. Through them, we see ourselves and gain an understanding of what we’re going through.”  I asked Melody to elaborate on what it personally means to her to “buddy up.”

Read more...